Kristen Lee Costa
Have you ever heard the expression “life is what happens when you are busy making plans”? Time passes ever-so-quickly, regardless of whether you are having fun or not. 2008 happens to be a leap year, granting each of us an “extra” day to carry out our lives. Most of us are likely to respond to the question “how are you doing?” by using the word “busy”. Try your own human behavior experiment over the next week and tally up the number of times you hear this yourself. Guaranteed survey says “busy” as the number one answer. The wild pace of our lives, which my Dad always calls “the rat race” leaves us unlikely to shift down and actually think (a novel concept, I know…) This makes our sense of time rather fraotic (my word for frazzled & chaotic) and limits the quality of our lives and relationships. My Mom lamented the other day “How has life gotten like this?”
Here are some questions to help you take inventory on how you are spending your time:
1. What would you do with an extra hour in your day if you had it?
2. How do you plan to divvy up the extra 24 hours you have been granted this year?
3. What things are you engaging in that reflect your values and personal mission?
4. What are the things and who are the people that drain your energy?
5. What can I cross off my calendar right now?
A healthy schedule should consist of time to be alone, and also time with those you love to be with. There is a lot of hype about quality time, these days. I believe it should not be an “either/or situation” (quality or quantity), but an “and” situation (quality and quantity). Let me explain: you need to spend a good quantity of time in order for it to lead to quality time moments. Quality time cannot be forced, although it often is. This can turn good intentions into frustration almost instantly. Don’t expect to carve out small slots of time to spend with your family or yourself and dub it as “quality” time. You may become disappointed if those windows of time do not deliver pure quality and measure up to the expectations you have set.
One practical thing I have done is to look ahead and write down the word “HOME” on my personal calendar a couple of times a month, as if it were a scheduled appointment. This is uncompromised, so regardless of what invitations come up, I have committed a relatively large stretch of time to spend at home doing accomplishing the important task of just being. Maybe you have noticed lately your pace has gone up, and the quality of your life has gone down. Perhaps you even feel as though you haven’t made today count. Now is your chance to start making wiser choices about how you spend your time and energy. Designating time to pursue “want to” instead of “have to” things is a step in the right direction. Time will pass one way or another, so make a point to slow down and enjoy moments.
Kristen Lee Costa, LICSW is the founder of Helping Helpers, dedicated to providing life-changing resources for professional and personal development. Visit http://www.helpinghelpers.com for access to innovative tools for therapists, teachers, nurses and those in helping professions. Kristen provides a clinical blog, called “Kristen’s clog” with everyday stress management guidance.
For the past decade, Ms. Costa has worked with numerous individuals, families and non-profit organizations to create positive change.
A graduate of Boston University, Ms. Costa has raised over eight million dollars in grant funding within her community. Ms. Costa is an experienced speaker, writer and therapist with a passion for advocacy and education.
Kristen speaks to professional and general audiences in a variety of settings. She is convincing, with her direct, warm, down-to-earth style and creative flare that allows audiences to enjoy learning. Titles include “Finding Balance in An Unbalanced World”, “Is There a GPS for My Stress?”, “Not a Bird, Not a Plane…SUPER-Vision”, and “Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say: Grant Strategies That Work”. Interactive, fine-tailored presentations are offered for each audience served.
In addition to professional grant writing, Kristen’s range of expertise includes composition of a variety of clinical resources for patients, speech and seminar writing, newspaper articles, and currently a book manuscript titled “Flung-Over: Overcoming The Intoxication Of Too Much To Think©” to be published. Kristen has appeared on local radio and provided community presentations to raise awareness surrounding emotional wellness.
A lifelong New Englander, Kristen has many never-ending winters and fly-by summers under her belt. She currently lives in Massachusetts with her husband and children, who inspire and enrich her. Kristen’s life mission is to encourage others to be HELPERS, and to equip them with innovative resources to help themselves and others better.
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For more information and support for creating more time for yourself and what’s important to you, visit http://www.GalileoLS.com/consult.html for a free coaching consultation.
